Memoriam
I have written several times about my mother in this space. She has been in decline for several years and an occasional topic here has been about some memories and her (and our) struggles with her changing realities. That decline has come to an end.
I am sad to announce that she has finally left us, given up on the daily struggle that these last few years brought for her. While sad, I am also joyful. I received much of my faith from her teaching and example and know that far better things await her than she ever experienced in life.
There is not a lot of time this week so there will be precious little fresh writing done. It occurred to me that this would be a great opportunity to link back to some of the posts where I have featured stories from her life (and mine).
I have poked fun at her cooking skills more than once, never more so than here when I reminisced about the meal that my sister and I dreaded above all others. I should add here that a couple of days after her death I decided to make a batch of the waffles she used to make from scratch. Hers were better.
I have shared experiences with her during her time spent in nursing homes. Dementia is a difficult thing to live with, but we have to find the occasional joy, such as how Mom suddenly made a new childhood friend. Then there were the times we watched television together or when her thinking had been infected by fantasy, making me a really rich guy one time.
This process of losing my mother has been going on for awhile, including when we were emptying out her house. Her piano dredged up many memories. And a trip to the old family cemetery dredged up many of hers. We will never forget the old family stories she would tell so often.
And finally I think of one early thing I did here. This one was a real gift – I dashed it off at the very last minute. But it turned out to be a really good explanation for so many things in my life. Because I really was Raised by Germans.
Many of you have offered kind comments over the years and I have appreciated them. Our mothers can influence us in ways most others cannot, and those effects generally last a lifetime. At least I hope so.
J. P.'s Blog 
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Thank you, I appreciate your saying so.
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I know you feel both relief and grief.
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Very true.
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You and your family remain in our thoughts.
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Thank you.
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Please accept my sincere condolences. I recall your story of your visits to her home, her thoughts of your corporate life, and nicely woven stories surrounding your experiences.
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Thanks Lee. I enjoy thinking back on those things.
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Strength to you and your family in the coming days. I have enjoyed the gentle humor in stories about your mother.
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Thank you, Doug. Mom had a great sense of humor and I like to think that she is either chuckling or rolling her eyes at some of those things.
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So sorry to hear of your loss, JP. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. No matter what age are mothers are when they pass, it’s still hard to accept.
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Thanks Joni. You are absolutely right.
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I’m very sorry, JP. But as you said, she is in a good place now.
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Thank you sir. Yes, I am glad her struggles are at an end.
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So sorry for your loss Jim and family!! Give you sister a hug for me! I understand what you feel. As you know my Mom passed this Spring. Life hasn’t been the same since.
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Thank you. So true, your mother is missed.
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Condolences to you and your family. I know what it is like, as my own mother suffered from dementia also.
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Much appreciated, Tom. I suppose it could always have been worse, but dementia is a tough one for sure.
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I’m terribly sorry to hear this, sir. All the best to you.
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Thanks Tom. I appreciate your thoughts.
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I remember your past writings about your mother, and my sympathies to you and your family. At the same time, I’m sure it’s a relief for you and her, to move past that stage in her life, where she was no longer the person she had been for so long.
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I appreciate this. And yes, I have been missing who she was for quite a while.
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JP,
I was deeply saddened to hear of your mother’s death. As I read through your various posts, despite your poignant descriptions of her decline—and the obvious toll it took on you—there was one phrase that kept arising: “She chuckled.” How great that life-affirming punctuation must have been.
I trust the good memories and the strong faith she instilled in you are easing your sense of loss.
Kind regards,
Annie
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Thank you, Annie. Yes, she had a great sense of humor that she kept all through her decline. That is one of the greatest gifts she gave me.
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I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I remember reading about her in some of your CC entries. My condolences to you & your family, especially @ this time of year
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Thanks Joe. We “car people” get a lot of good memories from loved ones and their cars. Oldsmobiles and Crown Victorias bring the strongest associations.
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My condolences. At least you have many, many good memories to hold in your heart.
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Thanks Candice. I do indeed.
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JP, I’m so sad to have read this last week. Your posts about visiting your mom lately were some of the most poignant things I’ve read online over the last few years. I’m glad you were left with many memories, and I’m glad your kids are of an age where they are as well. I know the mix of emotions you’re feeling. You and your family will be in my thoughts. You have been a great steward of her legacy, through your posts and through your life.
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Thank you, TC. I appreciate this very much. I don’t suppose there is an easy way to go through something like this, but living through five very difficult years as we watched her deteriorate in many ways makes this final parting seem not so sad. She and your Grandma Marlene sure put up with more than their share of nonsense from a couple of idiot teenage boys. 🙂
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JP, I’m sorry I didn’t step in earlier. Please accept my belated deep condolences on her passing and congratulations on your memories.
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Thank you Rafael, I appreciate your thoughts.
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