On Being Increasingly Called “Sir” – Good Knight!

It is happening with great frequency these days – being called “Sir”. I am left to puzzle out why this is happening, and have some thoughts.

I remember when I strove to be referred to as “sir”. It was that difficult time in my early 20’s when I was attempting the transition from teenager/college student to that category usually called “young adult”. Alas, respect was not always attained, like when I would walk into a car showroom and do what seemed to be a great impersonation of The Invisible Man.

I recall calling my friends and others of my age “sir”, in an ironic way. None of us was used to that kind of honorific, and it seemed like a fun thing to do. But as I got older, and especially when I was in a nice suit with a well-knotted tie and shiny hard shoes, I was occasionally called sir. Although it must be admitted that this happened most frequently by those trying to sell me something.

But recently, I have been getting “sir” with great frequency. It is not in situations where I look like some important guy in a suit. Just this past week, I got “sirred” twice in two days while I was wearing a work uniform and a safety vest. The first time was in a gas station where a guy in his 40’s said “Excuse me, sir” as he walked past me at the pumps. He looked like an educated middle-manager type wearing casual off-work attire. And there was no irony in the “sir” whatsoever.

The next day I was at work – a fellow in his 30’s (who appeared to be some kind of safety guy and who clearly outranked me in spite of his similar safety vest) nodded as we passed and said “Good morning, sir”, again in all seriousness.

I have been scratching my graying head to figure this out. Could I have received the British honorific of a knighthood and not known about it? I did offer some aid to the British Royal Family a few years ago, so it is possible that such a ceremony might have occurred but that any notice of it was lost in the mail. And I am not fully up on all the latest news in the world, so maybe I missed the reporting. This might naturally explain how others recognize me as the regular guy who had become an honorary knight. Had I only known, I would have felt it necessary to see how that sort of thing works for an American citizen who is supposed to eschew such old-world formalities.

Or – could it be that I am not actually a knight? I am being forced into the unfortunate conclusion that I am being called “sir” because I am tentatively inching across the threshold of old man-dom. I remember calling old guys “sir” (in a very un-ironic way) during my younger years – is this still a thing? It appears that it might be.

I suppose there is nothing to do but smile, nod and say things like “thank you” or “good morning to you too”. If feeling cheeky, I could always add a “sonny” or “kiddo” on the end. At least nobody is yet trying to hold doors for me or carry my grocery bags to the car. “Excuse me, sir – that looks awfully heavy so you had better let me carry it” – this would be an awful turn of events indeed!

45 thoughts on “On Being Increasingly Called “Sir” – Good Knight!”

  1. This sounds like a truly mixed bag. While I am 13 years younger than you, the number of times I am hearing Mr. Shafer has increased alarmingly the last few years. Something tells me there is a distinct connection between your “sir” and my “Mr. Shafer”, with “sir” being perhaps the next step in the evolution.

    My thought is to embrace the sir and run with it. Alternatives are few and less pleasant. Earlier this week I was at a supervisor’s meeting at work and we were all requested to wear name tags; I thought it funny as I knew each of the other 50 or so people there. However, given the number of people there named Jason (which in itself is started to date a person), I opted for Plan B, thus I wrote “Mr. Shafer” on my name tag.

    Upon entering the room, I had somebody greet me and call me sir.

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    • I am getting the Mr. thing more frequently too. Although was getting that one a lot from all of my childrens’ friends back when I was in my 40s, so I became more used to it.

      The name as a generational thing is interesting to me. In my age group, I was surrounded by Kevins. I knew one Jason, but that name had not really hit its stride yet. This is a topic that deserves its own blog post!

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  2. I started to get more “sirs” in my late 50’s, when I started wearing a fedora more often. Now in my 70’s, I also have some pretty bad arthritis, causing my hobbling gate to be more pronounced, adding to the ease in which others call me “sir”. I adopted the fedora, mostly since my Dad wore one all his life, and as a minor protest against the baseball cap as the defacto American head gear. BTW, my friends always marvel at how many people recognize me in retail stores, and I have to tell them it’s all the hat. People remember the man in the fedora. Unfortunately, the “sirs” come not because I’m more distinguished, but because I’m becoming more extinguished!

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    • I continue to admire guys who can pull off a fedora! I have wanted to try multiple times, but have never pulled the trigger. At least I am not wearing a baseball cap all the time!

      It is unfortunate that we all come with an expiry date, and the “sir” seems to be another sign that if not right around the corner, it is at least starting to approach.

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  3. I have a volunteer job with a healthcare organization. I man an information desk in one of their medical office buildings. I started getting called “sir” fairly often there a number of years ago (mostly by patients and visitors but also by staff members) maybe when I was 70-ish. I’ve gotten used to it, I guess.

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  4. I noticed this about five years ago. A fair number of my co-workers are in their 20s, so I figure there is no point in fighting it.

    The real shocker was when I mentioned Farrah Fawcett to a young lobbyist, and he replied, “Who is she?”

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    • I have to laugh at this, because it’s amazing to me when people are in a discussion about some old movies or artists, or culture of any kind, and I pipe up and opine, or correct some misinformation, I get told by millennials, that of course I would know that “because it was from my era”. I’m from the middle of the baby boom generation, born in 1954, and have been told something was “from my era” from as far back as the 1920’s! It’s amazing to me that pre-internet, pre-social media, pre-google, pre-computer; we seemed to learn a lot going backwards from our era because we were sponges for the information and going to the library and reading, and talking with “old people”, like relatives, who had been there. I’m afraid my millennial friends don’t know anything that isn’t directly marketed to them on a smart phone.

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      • I was always really good at trivia subjects that were well known to those a generation or two before me, but terrible on topics my age group should know. I don’t think this is as common now.

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  5. I try to call pretty much everyone I interact with sir or ma’am. It might be years of retail ingrained in me. Our pastor and his wife are both from the South and require the youngsters to say sir and ma’am to everyone so I guess I don’t notice it as much. Yeah, when they start holding doors or carrying stuff for me will be my sign.

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  6. We notice that American men, even older ones, sometimes call my husband “sir” and me “ma’am” especially if they have a military background. We do not hear that from Canadians. Seems very respectful.

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  7. When I was a youngster, I was told to always address people as Mr./Mrs. or Sir/Ma’am, unless told by them to do otherwise, no matter how old I was. All of our elderly neighbors are gone now, but I continued to call them Mr./Mrs. or Sir/Ma’am way into my 40s or even my 50s – no one ever corrected me. 🙂 I had a cartoon around here my mom cut out of the newspaper once and the teenager was looking in the mirror and said “what is the cut-off for being Miss versus Ma’am?” When I took journalism courses in college, our Wayne State University Stylebook, modeled after the AP Stylebook, said to never refer to an older person as “elderly” unless you can verify they are over 80 years of age. The new norm for the media is “if you’re in your 50s, you are elderly.” At 69 years old, I don’t feel elderly in the least!

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    • What’s interesting is that I was raised to call my parents’ friends by their first names. As I got older, I decided that I did not like that practice and reverted to the more traditional habits with my own children.

      In my current work, I sometimes see a guy who used to date my daughter. It took him awhile (and encouragement from me) to stop calling me “Mr.”

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      • That’s funny about your early familiarity with your parents’ friends, but then you are younger than me and perhaps less-rigid rules prevailed in that later time frame? That’s funny – well your daughter’s former date respected you from day #1. I once dated a guy and after we went out a couple of times, he was invited to Christmas dinner. He walked into the house, saw my mom and said “Hey Lady, how ya doin’ today?” I watched my mom visibly bristle and waited for her retort which was immediate: “Lady is the name of a dog; I am Mrs. Schaub to you.” There were no more dinner invitations extended – in fact, he never came into the house again, nor asked me out again. Thanks Mom!

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      • That’s interesting. I was raised exactly the opposite. I was probably in my mid-teens (which would put me around 1976) before I ever dared to call any adult by more than Mr. or Mrs. whatever. I recall once referring to one of my parents’ friends by what I knew was their first name and being strongly rebuked by my parents.

        This too was a policy in school. It was a punishable offense to call a teacher anything other than Mr./Mrs./Miss …in public schools.

        All of my childhood was spent below the Mason-Dixon line, so that may serve to explain things.

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      • This is one of those questions I wish I had asked my parents when they were still alive. I wonder if this was one of the few ideas of progressive parenting that got some traction with them.

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  8. I would say the analogy is being called ma’am instead of miss or even Ms…..which starts around age 40 or maybe later as women seem to be better maintained these days and often dress like their daughters? I remember your hilarious and generous offer to trade places with Meaghan and Harry. Her loss…. I find a lot of young people just address you as Hey, JP. I remember my young family doctor saying “Hey Joni” in greeting when she came into the room, after she had met me a few times. Then she told me she liked my new hairstyle…..can’t imagine my old G.P. saying either! Nobody has offered to carry my groceries yet, but I get plenty of doors held open for me. They must think because I’m petite that I can’t manage a door….

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  9. People have been calling me “sir” for a long time, and still do. Given the general decline in formality over the recent decades, it surprises me that this salutation is still commonly used. I don’t mind being called “sir” at all–I kind of like it. When conversing with people from the American South, I get a lot of “Yes, suh.” “No, suh.” Hispanics/Mexicans tend to call me “boss”, which I also like. I was often addressed as “young man”–in fact, last year someone called me that, and it kind of made my day!

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    • I don’t mind the attitude of respect that comes with “sir”, but am still getting used to the advancing age that triggers the respect instead of position or accomplishments.

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  10. When I worked at Subway in high school and college, I was most likely to call someone “sir” passive-aggressively after some unreasonable sandwich demand. “You want a footlong teriyaki chicken meatball sub for $5.40? Okay, sir, that’ll be $11.78.”

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      • Just be glad I’m no longer roaming the area’s sandwich shops! I’d cut you a break, though. You don’t seem like the type of person to combine two bizarre footings into one! Unfortunately, a regular footlong ham and cheese probably costs twelve bucks out the door these days.

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  11. Since reading this yesterday I called the guy at the gas bar “Sir” three times, and he called me “Boss once. I’m pretty certain I have no managerial authority over this operation, and also that this fella was a good 30 years my junior.

    My GP still calls me by my surname after 30 years, and so does my dog’s vet, and for that matter, everyone in the office. Good manners is appreciated.

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    • A friend who reads this called me “sir” yesterday, and on purpose after reading this. I get “boss” every once in awhile, but not nearly as frequently. I agree that there is no substitute for good manners.

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  12. I read this with my daughter, and she noted that in her generation, “Sir” has largely been replaced with “Bro.”  Sadly, that’s probably true.

    I don’t get Sirred much, and in thinking about it, I don’t call people Sir or Ma’am much either.  I feel that my use of those terms is mostly in the context of trying to get someone’s attention… such as “Sir?  Are you looking for something?”

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      • I find the use of the term “boss” to be kind of creepy! I don’t know why the usage seems to be rearing its ugly head recently, I never, ever heard this in the north before about ten years ago. I didn’t even like it when I WAS peoples boss! To a northern mid-westerner, it sounds a little “antebellum”, and not from the winning side of the Mason/Dixon line, nor the “right” era. Getting called sir is more of a term of respect for elders; getting called “boss” assumes a level of control over someone or something. Let’s stop that habit right now. To me, you might as well call a woman “babe”.

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  14. 3 years living in the South now and I’ve been called “Sir” more times than I have in my other 60 years combined. It’s pleasant because it doesn’t come with any attitude or expectation. It’s just the norm around here. Even better, once someone who calls you “Sir” gets to know you a little better, they sometimes go with “Mr.” or “Mrs.” followed by your first name. So I’m happy to report I have several people down here who now refer to me as “Mr. Dave”.

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    • Mr. Dave, I’ve seen that a lot in the south as well, and I like that! It’s semi-formal, yet familiar, without being over-familiar. I’ve also noticed that women of a certain age who are single, even possibly with a husband that passed, or divorced; sometimes also get called Miss, as in Miss Brenda. I don’t think anyone gets into a stink about it either. I spent some time in D.C., and points south, and picked up some of that, that I then had to drop when I went north. Sometimes people are getting so semantically ridiculous, it just forces you to say: “…hey you…”.

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      • At my age “Mr. Dave” does me just fine, Andy. Frankly it comes across like a term of endearment. Also to your point, I’ve never heard anyone down here make a stink about it. It’s almost like saying “pal” or “buddy” but with a personal spin.

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