Going To The Big Game
I am not and never have been much of a sports fan. I wrote once about my short, unhappy attempt to partake in athletics. It was a terrible bust and I have spent a lifetime ignoring football and basketball, whether played at the high school, college or professional level. So it was with some wonder that I found myself attending an Indiana University football game – at night, outdoors, and in the snow. And enjoying it.
This very much non-sports guy became the father of a son who was a sports fan from the time he was old enough to understand those games that are so popular in American life. When he was growing up, he wanted to participate in them, and I went to most of the practices and possibly all of the games. I did this with my other kids too, but it was the eldest who was fiercely competitive and who relished the athletic experience. Baseball, football and especially basketball were his things. Even though nobody would have described him as a natural athlete, he made up for what he lacked by extra doses of grit and determination.
His birthday is in late January, so more than one year his birthday present from his parents was for me to take him to a basketball game, whether at Indiana University (about a 90 minute drive from home) or downtown to see the Indiana Pacers. Other times I would sit down and join him as he watched a game on television. It happened slowly, but I started to know some of the players on his favored teams and to understand the things to look for. I discovered that I could enjoy watching a game with him.
He dove even more deeply into athletics when he majored in sports broadcasting at IU. By his second or third year he was broadcasting every IU football game on the student radio station, which I listened to religiously. He even got to broadcast a couple of basketball games – which was a plumb assignment because IU has always been a basketball school and that was their signature program.
And then life took a turn – he changed course and entered religious life as a Dominican friar. And for me, I reverted to my old habits and followed sporting events less and less until I was more or less back to where I was before he came along.
So it was a surprise when he asked me if I wanted to attend an IU football game with him. He had obtained a pair of tickets to IU’s final regular season home game, which was against the school’s traditional arch-rival. Games between those two schools are almost always good ones, and so I happily accepted. My acceptance became a little less happy when both of us learned that the game would be played in the evening instead of the afternoon (given my early morning wake-up times), and also that the event would be held in sub-freezing temperatures. But I had been quite touched that I was the one he asked to accompany him, and decided that it was important enough to bundle up and stay out late.
And you know what? I had a great time. My first impression: As we walked around the environs of the stadium looking for a couple of his friends who were hosting tailgate parties, it occurred to me that this event was special in its ordinariness. IU has had a breakout year in football (the best record in program history) and enthusiasm was everywhere. But even more, after a few years when there has been so much divisiveness and disagreement in our country, I was being smacked in the face with a great big dollop of normal. Everywhere I looked, people were smiling, laughing, sharing beers and bowls of chili and enjoying each others’ company.
Both of us bundled up in multiple layers and eventually found our seats, which were not too bad. The place was quite crowded for a game where outdoor temperatures started at 28 degrees (F) and slowly dropped from there. The steady shower of powdery snow added to the experience. If you are going to brave those kinds of temperatures, the package just isn’t complete without a little snow too.
Although there are plenty of stories of boorish behavior at athletic events, what I experienced was something different. Yes, there was plenty of beer and some trash talking among fans of the two teams, but everyone was very well behaved. Maybe it’s a midwestern thing, but the IU fans in front of us had seats that were commonly used for others to step through on the way up and down through the bleachers, and their occupants graciously accommodated everyone, no matter which team colors they were sporting. We ended up casually chatting with both IU and Purdue fans around us, and pretty much all of them were nice, normal people that made great short-term neighbors.
I would like to say that we made it through the entire game, but we did not. We decided to leave midway through the third quarter. We stayed long enough to watch our team go up 45-0 and figured that they had things well in hand, so we gave in to the bitter cold and the increasing wind and started our hike to the car. The heated seats were not turned off during the entire trip home, in case anyone was wondering. And we tuned into the game’s radio broadcast and listened as IU won the game 66-0,. Which turns out to have been Purdue’s worst loss in the history of its (historically quite good) football program. Yes, I am at least a little bit invested in that longstanding rivalry, having watched Purdue drub IU on many prior occasions.
Early in a parent’s life, you can wonder why you are doing it all. Deep down you know that raising kids is a job that needs to be done and you do it because you love them and because it’s your main job. But it is moments like this when you collect the dividends. When your son asks you to go to a big event and you go and both of you have a great time that you will remember for the rest of your life.
While I will confess that I don’t intend to repeat the experience any time soon (any more football games being watched will be from the comfort of my recliner in a warm and cozy den) it was great to get out of my comfort zone and experience life in a different way from the ways I usually do. It is an experience I will not soon forget and one which reinforces in me a love and respect for the regular, everyday people that make up most of my world.
And Go IU!
J. P.'s Blog 
A great story. Doing things with your grown offspring can be hugely rewarding – even if there is cold and snow involved.
This time last month we were in Orlando for a convention Mrs. Jason was attending. Mrs. Jason Jr was with us. She and I did all sorts of things on our own (while Mrs. Jason was stuck in seminars) and we had an absolute blast.
Your story really resonates. I’m glad you two were able to do this.
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All true. And had we been in Florida, we would surely have stayed to the end! 🙂
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Can I ever relate to this one! I guess it’s the combination of klutziness and ADD, but I have never been interested in sitting and watching other people do an activity.
As you know one of our good friends is a Notre Dame professor, and we have twice been down to South Bend to take in a football game. I somewhat enjoy the cultural event, observing Americans in their natural habitat of stadium and parking lot. The actual game less so, the spectacle and fan commitment is genuinely impressive but not knowing much about football I find it hard to follow, and there’s a lot of “what just happened, why did they do that?” not to mention that I appeared to be the only one of the 77,622 people there who forgot to wear green. An appropriate color considering that Notre Dame has a 19 billion dollar endowment fund and only 13 thousand students.
At half time it was drizzling, so I and another friend who’d also had sufficient football walked back to the house and half watched the rest of the game on TV.
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Football is kind of like the second religion at Notre Dame. Some could argue that it is actually the first one. But you have to respect their ability to keep fielding good teams over such a long time. IU, on the other hand, has spent most of its history as the doormat of the Big 10 conference. But I am told that they have some loyal fans who have come to the games no matter how bad the teams were. This year is a refreshing change on that score.
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Hi. Spending time with the people we’re closest to is, to a significant extent, what life’s all about.
Your team should have taken pity on the other team. 66 to 0??!!
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This is a rivalry as deep as any in college sports. In their defense, IU did take the first string players out after the half. And I was told that the most lopsided score in the history of this series was when Purdue beat IU 68-0 in 1892, so Purdue still holds the record for the biggest victory in the series.
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Lovely story! Kind of glad I had daughters. Volleyball and gymnastics were always warmly indoors!
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And there is more motivation to go when it is your own kids playing.
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What a cool (intended) story! And I liked the idea that it was just everyday “folks” finding time to talk about and do something, anything. Thanks for that.
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I liked the fact that as I looked around, this was an event that could have been happening in 1986 or 1968 and it probably would not have looked very different. Well, except for the game score, which would have favored Purdue both of those years. 🙂
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This is a nice feel-good story JP. I never knew anything about sports because my father was not interested in any sports and I had no siblings (now girls are as interested in sports as boys are). My grandparents watched wrestling and hockey, so if we went to visit them on a weekend afternoon, chances are they were parked in front of the TV in the living room and I’d often sit and watch the likes of “The Shiek” or “Bruno Sammartino” . You learned a lot about your son’s sports – I’ll bet it all came back to you during that snowy game as well.
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Wrestling and hockey are two I never paid attention to. You remind me of one hockey memory – when my sister and I were little, my dad took us to see a game of the Fort Wayne Komets, the local professional hockey team. I was probably around 7 or 8 and knew nothing about hockey, but remember my father occasionally grabbing me and picking me up so I could see as he exclaimed “A fight! A fight!” 🙂
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In the past I have heard people say they loved hockey just for the fights. 🙂 And your comment about the hockey fights makes me think of Detroit Red Wing turned Chicago Blackhawk hockey player Bob Probert. He was famous for fighting and I just Googled and read that he fought 246 times in 16 NHL seasons. That’s about all I remember about that player, being legendary for fights.
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I was always a below average athlete because I was born with a deficiency of hand-eye coordination. But I absolutely loved to play, watch and follow sports. Of course, I could only qualify to play on CYO church teams, intramurals, or sandlots for touch football. And I was often on the bench or placed in positions where coaches like to hide athletes like me, e.g. rightfield. I had three sons who also loved watching and playing sports. They have had more success than me but were all limited by my genes! My brother Kevin was into sports just like me and also had three sons but none of his boys showed any interest in sports. I cannot account for the difference. After my sons became teenagers and parental frictions and tensions emerged, sports saved our relationships. We could go to sporting events, root for the home teams together, and talk sports, avoiding by mutual unspoken agreement other more divisive topics. I can relate to your experience. I go to less games now (especially when television moves outdoor football from afternoon to evening!) but at least I still get invited.
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I love how this worked between you and your boys. We Dads have to find those ways to connect.
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What a great post, J P, and for so many reasons. My eldest son is also a football/basketball fanatic, but his logical brain told him he was good at accounting so he majored in what he was “good at” versus “passionate about”. He would’ve done well in any aspect of sports (and I continue to push him on data analytics since he has a numbers brain). Despite my graduation from that little school in the bend of the river three hours north of Bloomington, I have a soft spot for IU because of its almost unparalleled basketball program (Bobby Knight!), “Hoosiers” (Gene Hackman!), and “Breaking Away” (which should’ve won Best Picture the year it was included in the nominees). And now, of course – talk about timing! – the Irish and the Hoosiers will meet in an all-Indiana first-round playoff game in South Bend, the first time these football teams have played each other in 66 years. Was hoping for a down-South opponent who isn’t used to football in below-freezing temps, but no matter. I’d rather give this game to the well-behaved fans you describe instead.
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You are doing a better job than me tracking play-off brackets – I did not know IU was playing ND. My mother in law was a huge ND football fan, despite knowing virtually nothing about the game. If my own father was still alive, he and I might be on opposite sides of this one too!
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My father was a big sports fan. He had season tickets to the Philadelphia Eagles, and only missed two home games over a span of 40 years.
I loved to attend one game each season with him – as well as one Penn State home game each season with friends. But that was enough for me! I could never imagine arranging every weekend in the fall around watching a game – whether in person, or on television.
Now my older daughter plays soccer and basketball, and I enjoy watching her games.
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Agreed: it was a fun change but not something I’d want to build my fall/early winter life around.
It’s definitely more fun to watch your kids play, whatever the sport!
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