Alright everyone, Thanksgiving is over and I had intended to move beyond the craziness that had been our Presidential election and into other things more in keeping with the holiday season. But some things are so important that they must be noted in this space.
I have to hand it to Jill Stein. At first I had thought that she had not a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning the Presidency. But I should have been paying more attention. Bernie Sanders had shown us that there was an appetite out there for socialism, but he made a bad bet and tried to do so as a Democrat. But despite the Democratic Party’s best efforts to encourage his candidacy, Hillary Clinton proved to be the hands-down choice of the people. We will always wonder what might have been had Bernie not been so much of a party insider.
But Jill Stein was never hampered by the “Democratic Establishment” that we kept reading about. Sure, she had a formidable populist challenger in Hillary Clinton, but hey, sometimes you just have to stick at it for your message to get through.
Imagine, though, everyone’s surprise when Donald Trump won Wisconsin! Conventional wisdom was that Jill Stein would win the state in a walk, so confusion ensued.
But that plucky Green Party candidate is not about to let us off of the “First Female President” train quite so fast, and is suspicious of the results. I don’t blame her.
It makes absolutely no sense that she would get only 30,000 votes in Wisconsin while Donald Trump got 1.4 million. Doesn’t this result simply scream “FRAUD”? Why of course it does. I smell Russian intervention all over this, because surely there were well over 1 million Stein votes that somehow never made it out of polling places in and around Madison and Milwaukee. A mere 1.4 million votes would put her comfortably ahead of Trump. I would have called for a recount too, had I been in her shoes.
And howabout that Hillary Clinton? Now everyone knows just how selfless of a person she has always been. Isn’t that just like her to put the needs of others above her own. For those who called her crooked and selfish, don’t you just feel terrible now? Here she is helping Jill Stein in her fight against that nasty ogre Trump, even though it is sure to result in Stein becoming the first woman President instead of Clinton. I have it on good authority that their meeting ended with Hillary saying “You Go, Girl!” as she gave Stein a fist bump.
And you know that Wisconsin is just the beginning. Stein was either on the ballot or allowed as a write-in in forty eight States. Once they find the millions of missing votes in Wisconsin, can anyone doubt that those dirty Russians doing the dirty work of that dirty Trump dirtily suppressed millions and millions of Stein votes from coast to coast? Soon those dirty vote totals will fall like dominoes all across the country. Forget about red states and blue states, we are about to see a map awash in green!
In discussing this phenomenon with some friends, one or two of them has cynically mentioned that they don’t believe that Stein will even begin to find the millions upon millions of votes to tip enough states away from President-Elect Trump. I say Bosh! Or Phooey! Or even Pshaw! Such an attitude surely requires a dark soul. I mean who could possibly believe that there are other motives at work here?
Why, that would mean that the
Democratic Green Party has not taken to heart the lesson about why half of the country is so disillusioned by its backroom insider tactics that they refused to support the most qualified candidate in the history of the world. This simply cannot be true.
But I say enough to all of you who spend your evenings weaving conspiracy theories. I believe that Jill Stein will find those votes and will soon be sworn in as President. Admit it, most of you on November 6th didn’t think Trump had a chance either. And didn’t you feel pretty foolish a couple of days later? I will admit that I have been a little feverish today and that I have finished the evening with a cocktail, but these things cannot possibly have influenced my thoughts on this topic. You will soon see that I am right. And as soon as I make arrangements to handle the lottery jackpot that I will be winning this weekend and use those proceeds to help out that Nigerian Prince, I will be back to smack all of you with a big fat “I told you so.” Clarity is such a burden.