Adventures In Carpentry – 21st Century Edition

I have always wanted to be a woodworker. Just the term – woodworker – brings a picture to my mind of a distinguished looking man who lovingly molds and shapes plain boards into family heirlooms. “Dad could do anything with wood” say his family members after his passing, as they argue over the possession of treasured pieces.

Sadly, woodworking is one of those ideas that remains firmly in my mind but which never seems to develop as one of my skills. I thought about this as I build a piece of furniture.

“Build a piece of furniture” – perhaps this oversells what I am doing at the moment. There is no table saw or router or sandpaper involved here. Instead, I am using a Phillips-head screwdriver as I assemble the furniture which was mostly built in some factory in China before the pieces were packed into a big box for me to buy and have delivered.

“A pantry cabinet for the kitchen” was the thought that came into the mind of someone in the family – I am not sure exactly who – recently. With perhaps a year of lead time I might actually have been able to build one. I own a few woodworking tools and have dabbled in the field a time or three. It started when I bought a used table saw from a friend. It was when we were expecting children and I thought that I ought to build a toybox. I knew exactly what I wanted. I examined the toybox I had owned as a kid, right down to the dimensions, construction methods and hardware.

My friend accompanied me to the lumber supplier. Even though my old toybox had been made of cheap, soft pine, I was going to build a toybox for the ages. Therefore, nothing less than red oak would do. I cut the various pieces and then – well, I am not sure what happened because those pieces are still in my basement. So, . . . yeah.

I had better luck doing some trim work on some built-in bookcases in my living room. A few pieces of molding and a router around the edge of the cabinet doors really dressed up what had been a disappointing feature of the room. I hung a door in a doorway in my basement and also added and finished some crown molding in another room. Each of those projects came out quite nicely, so I am not totally without skills. But when the discussion came back to the pantry cabinet, a year seemed to be beyond the time when the article was wanted. So a trip online to a place that sells home décor, and we were in business. Until the box came.

It always amazes me how heavy particle board is. And how particle board (which constitutes most modern furniture) is so much heavier than “real wood”. The box was so heavy that I had to think about things for a few days before I worked up the nerve to open it. When I got there, I started looking for the little numbers on the various pre-finished pieces. And then came the big bag of hardware – which contained lots of little bags of screws, hinges, magnets and multiple pieces of specialty hardware, which was evidently to take the place of the kinds of joints that real woodworkers can make.

Woodworking by use of a Phillips-head screwdriver just seems wrong, but that is the kind of woodworking I am doing now. I would have preferred woodworking by Allen wrench, but I suspect that the people who put this kit into the box didn’t want too much torque applied to fasteners – something about warranty claims, I imagine. This is probably why they also warn against the use of any power tools. They will probably disclaim responsibility for the blisters forming on my screwdriver hand as I try to tighten the twist-lock fasteners.

I am always intimidated by the hardware in these kits. I should probably just break down and count every piece in advance and compare it to the handy little inventory they supply in the instructions. But I do not do that, preferring to trust the integrity of the manufacturer. This always adds a measure of suspense – do they provide an extra of everything in case one tiny piece rolls into the fourth dimension where so many items in my house seem to end up? So far so good, I say as each numbered step is completed.

I had initially thought that the project might be completed in a morning. But then Marianne reminds me that I always think a project can be completed in a morning. I like to think that this is more about my optimistic nature than about some failure in my abilities to estimate time. I think I am up to about four mornings. Or maybe make that six. But I can at least see an end coming – I think I am down to mounting doors and installing shelves.

Soon I will be able to take pride in my fully-assembled furniture. Although I will probably not get much affirmation from others when I casually remark that “I built that, you know.” I think quite a few people build furniture these days.

Perhaps it is time to turn my attention back to that toy box. It will be in time for grandchildren, at least. Or to be safe, maybe I should make that great grandchildren.

Artwork credit: The Carpenter, c. 1887, by Belgian painter Frans Mortelmans

30 thoughts on “Adventures In Carpentry – 21st Century Edition”

  1. Sounds like you have an IKEA project. I always enjoyed building a bed, a dresser, a cabinet. The issue was the directions, no instructions really, just diagrams to follow. Once you’ve done the cabinet, I’m sure it will look great… YES, you should get that toy box done for the future grandkids. We’d LOVE to see it. Good LUCK, you’ve got this!!

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  2. The fun of putting furniture together. The worst I’ve had was, of all things, a wooden file cabinet. That was no fun.

    In regard to cutting of wood, etc., I have been procrastinating (for several years) about reinstalling baseboard and lots of other trim in my basement. I tore out a wall or two, rebuilt another, and boxed in a closet to transition from double folding doors to a single, regular door plus hung and mudded all the drywall. But the trim? It’s been stained for 18 to 24 months, but I just can’t ever get around to putting it up. It’s the mitering and cutting that has me unenthused. 

    Finishing the toy box will be enjoyable. It allows for more creativity in stain color, trim, hinges, etc. It sounds like you have most of the tools for it and it will be a fun project.

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    • I like doing trim work, and went out and bought a compound miter chop saw for the job. I probably need to find more moldings I can cut and install.

      The biggest problem with the toy box is that I have had second thoughts about my design. It was great for cheap, lightweight pine, but might contain a small explosion when built out of heavy oak. But I guess a grossly overbuilt toy box is better than no toy box at all.

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  3. I remember assembling various bits of furniture purchased from IKEA years ago. Some of that furniture did wear well – particularly the table that consisted of a large, rectangular piece of wood (already finished) and four thick black legs. I also assembled the matching, padded chair. That table provided a sturdy stand for the computer (or, more accurately, fancy word processer) that I bought new when I started law school in the early 1990s. When Tami and I moved, we gave that table and chair to our nephews. I believe the younger one still uses them.

    Somehow, building furniture from scratch was not something I ever felt the urge to do…can’t say that is on my bucket list.

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    • Yes, the actual building of furniture always intimidated me. I know a guy who was really good at it. But come to think about it, he is also missing a tiny piece of one finger after a mishap with his power saw.

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  4. Rather than Phillips screws, it would be much better if these kits came with sturdy, difficult to strip, Robertson screws. Their square insert holes are much easier to work with than Phillips.

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    • I agree completely. I don’t think there is a single fastener I hate more than a Phillips screw. They seem to me to have been designed for the absolute minimum ability to tighten them (or to loosen them after they have become really tight with age)

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      • Yes. A couple of turns, or wrong turns, and the screw head is done on a Phillips. A Robby can be stripped too, but not as easily.

        Now that we have learned of your toy box wood pieces in the basement, we may be interested to know what other items have taken up residence down there, having been intended for other purposes.

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      • Haha, when you have a basement in a house where you live for 30+ years, the question is what DON’T we have down there! 🙂

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  5. Ah, come on… You should be able to counter with “I said ‘a morning’ not ‘this morning'”…

    I’m also fairly rubbish with woodworking… My daughter opted to go into a carpentry trade school after HS graduation; I couldn’t be more proud.

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    • I find that every project is like that with me. At least these usually eliminate the 2 or 3 extra trips to the hardware store that most home repair projects involve for me. And so far, i have not drawn blood, so there’s that. 🙂

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  7. Just as you added a router edge and some moldings to your living room bookcases, I took a plain modern bookcase and made doors for it. The doors came from a salvaged entertainment center. I added antique hardware and decorative moldings. The black strap hinges came from Home Depot. I like it because the room now looks less cluttered with the books covered by the doors.

    Years ago I found this Eastlake mirror frame (c. 1880) under the porch of an abandoned house about to be demolished. There was no glass, and some of the decorative carved details were missing. I reproduced some of the missing pieces, and added appropriate wood ornament from other junk antique furniture I had. I had a new mirror glass cut which cost me $10 (this was around 2005). The mirror now hangs in the Entrance Hall, and I use it to make sure I look dapper and neat before I head out the front door!

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/147108383@N02/53680595244/in/dateposted/

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/147108383@N02/53680597479/in/photostream/

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/147108383@N02/53680471433/in/photostream/

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      • Yes, he is building lots of things with his daughter, who is also interested in woodworking. Mostly they are making items for her to sell at craft sales – boxes, scroll saw items, cribbage boards, etc. And you are right, he doesn’t need much excuse to buy a new tool – but as his workshop gets better equipped, more family members are coming to our place to work in his shop. It is a win-win!

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  10. I think the average American moves somewhere in the range of 10 times in their lives (I’ve moved more!), therefore the purchase and care of quality furniture takes a backseat to price and disposability! I’ve moved four times in the last ten years, and it would have been monumentally worse if I hadn’t been sleeping on the floor or had ten oak bookcases I would have needed to hire someone to move (by the way, donated over 70 books in the last year, as I am aging rapidly and I need to just get out from under it! ). One true thing, and I can attest to this by helping my mother and great aunt move furniture for their antique stores, is that quality solid wood furniture is more dimensionally stabile and lighter weight than particle board or plywood! Even a decent melamine covered particle board book case from Target, will sag under the weight of average books, and is too heavy. But, “toss-able” for $24.00! BTW, I went to a boys trade and technical high school, and studied and spent time in all kinds of trades exploring options. I would have loved to work with wood and be a cabinet maker, and it was obvious from day one in the class, that no one was more inept in the wood trade than I was! It took me three-quarters of a semester to hand plane a small board flat, the first weeks assignment! Others were breezing through!

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    • I get what you say, particularly the part about skills. I always wanted to be proficient on a musical instrument, but have proven to myself that I can get no better than borderline workmanlike results despite prodigious practice. It amazes me how talents are distributed among humanity. Or sometimes not distributed. 🙂

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  11. I remember buying a particleboard computer hutch from Staples to put my first desktop computer and tower on in 2000, right after Y2K. That was when the monitor looked like the old TVs with the bulbous backs that you and I commented on for one of your recent posts about clearing out your home office. The store put the box into the car for me – that should have been my first clue how heavy and awkward it would be to go from the car to the basement and I had to let it slide down the basement steps and hope for the best. I got hung up on a couple of pieces and was frustrated how to get them to fit properly and near tears, I had to give it a rest and return the next day. I got it together, but now I sit at a laptop, at the kitchen table and a newer model desktop (Vista) is downstairs and serves as my hub for the modem/cable connection.

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    • Yes, I remember that whole era of “computer furniture”. And how widely it varied in quality. We had one of those computer desks at our house when the kids were younger. It lasted a good long time, but finally went away. We decommissioned the “desktop” computer a long time ago and live with a pair of laptops.

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  12. I marvel at IKEA’s build-it-yourself boxed kits, not so much for the product but for the engineering involved. The wood and hardware are masterfully packed into a minimum amount of space, the instructions sometimes seem illogically ordered (but always make sense in the end), and hardware is never missing from all the little bags. This is my kind of approach to “woodwork”. My son-in-law can make any of IKEA’s products to the same quality, at far less expense. He just has a knack (and an income) for woodwork. I really admire his skills, not to mention his attention to detail. It bothers him if a finished project isn’t exactly as he intended it to be; a sure sign of a craftsman.

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    • I salute your son-in-law! I have never actually bought anything from IKEA – and there is even a store near me. I should probably have checked their website before I ordered the piece I got. I can report that it is finally all together and in service, and seems to do the job just fine.

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